Monday, October 31, 2011

Pondering in My Heart Mondays: Psalm 51

Psalm 51 spoke to me yesterday as something I had been struggling with since school began. I seem to either glory in things I've accomplished, or wallow in self pity when the day hands me thorns instead of roses.  Either way, making myself a martyr for my own cause or glorying in the accomplishment of a clean floor (for the first time in three days) is all vain.

A pure heart create for me, Oh God,
put a steadfast spirit within me....

For in sacrifice you take no delight,
burnt offering from me you would refuse,
my sacrifice, a contrite spirit.
A humbled, contrite heart you will not spurn

The only thing God wants is my heart. Whether it's a good moment or not. The circumstances of the day don't matter. Whether my house is clean or dirty, the kids are crabby or good, I feel happy or not, I get the history lesson finished or not, someone was nice to me or not- in the end- it's what I've done with the good or the bad that matters.   It's what I give or don't give to God from the depths of my heart.

Visit Heidi for her Pondering in the Heart- she has a beautiful post today as always!

1 comment:

Allison said...

Sarah: Yes, but...I truly believe staying home with young children is the toughest thing. It is critical to the future of - well, let;s be blunt - society. But so much of what you do is NOT measurable. And at least for me, I want to be able to measure things to gauge the outcome of my efforts.

Now that my children are "old" they go to school, they get report cards, which rightly or wrongly I also see as a reflection on my ability to get them be self-disciplined. They interact on their own with the world, and I can hear and see reports of their behavior, which in many ways are the fruits of my mothering.

I work a paid job now. I am evaluated by supervisors. So I can see what others think of the work I do.

So...yes, you are absolutely right about understanding that what we DO is not, in the end, a result of our own efforts or talents. But Gosh, it is easier to say that and think that when we actually "KNOW" how we are doing.

I don't know if I am making sense. What I am trying to say is you are working very very hard - without any external indicators of your progress and then having to detach yourself from your efforts, whether they are successful or not.

Have a cup of tea, dear!